Mindfullness and the Fat Week

I somehow put my back out of whack earlier this week, and made a massage appointment. I’m reading this book called Mending the Mind, Minding the Body or something, and it talks a lot about mindful living and healing. So I decided during my massage to meditate. I took deep breaths and started with a mantra of “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of G-d”. It seemed to be the right thing at the time, and I had this wonderful focused time of allowing my body to relax, rest, and accept the healing given to it by the massage therapist. It worked really well. When I left the massage parlour though, I was instantly assaulted with stress, sensation and tension.

The Word talks a lot about “abiding” and living in a state of Rest. I’ve come to believe my back hurts because I am carrying the weight of the world instead of letting G-d do it.

My co-worker and I signed up for this fitness challenge at work. You make teams and it allots you  I’m hoping my overdramatic sense of competition will get me moving during this challenge and that it will be sustainable throughout the year. I’m tired of feeling tired from dragging along a whole ‘nother me, only, you know, made of fat.

Another thing on my mind is that I never wanted kids, really. But then I went on medicine that regulates my hormones. And now my girl self is convinced it’s baby time. My rational self is saying that there’s no freakin’ way it’s baby time. My rational self has talked my hormonal self in to losing weight before adding the weight of a baby to it, and maybe being a bit more financially stable to boot. Yes.

Anyway, I’ve been having a Fat Week. That’s the kind of week where you are thinking so much about your predicament, that you probably feed it a little by getting depressed about it. This is so evil and counterproductive. Because I’m beautiful, and when I remember that, and focus on how wonderfully I’m made, it’s easy to do the things I should.

In other news, I spoke with Lucy Lawless on the phone… just a couple questions during a press conference… but SQUEE. How fun is that? I think my power animal is Xena.

Just two days until the weekend, and my art groups!!!

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