I’m being followed by a Moonshadow…

I just saw Black Swan and I related really intensely with parts of it.  I think the idea of transformation has always been conflicted for me, and I’m not sure if the film helped or hurt that, but it definitely got me thinking about becoming.

I have been uploading pics to Craftster, because it’s something I’ve intended to do for a year and hadn’t yet. Finger puppets, soap, sculptures.. all important because they are part of my journey. However, it’s made me realize I’ve been afraid of art for a while, the kind my passion is attached to, because I’m afraid of the ramifications of passion.

Which is not something I can indulge in anymore: fear.

So. This year I’m hoping will have more paint in it. More bookbinding. More collages.  More writing. More music.  Just more MORE… more of what MATTERS.

For as long as I remember, I have been trying to figure out why art is so important to me, why it matters.  Matters in the big and small senses of the word.  I think as I’ve grown up the idea has been that if you can’t make money at it, if it isn’t valued by other people, it really isn’t art.  But why isn’t it?  If you enjoy painting velvet Elvis, if it gives you satisfaction, does acceptance of that satisfaction matter? Possibly, I don’t know.

Satisfaction is a wonderful thing, I think.  I’ve worked on a couple pieces lately that I was rather satisfied with.  This being one of them:

Moonshadow

 

It’s Prismacolors on regular old sketchbook paper, but it turned out how I saw it in my head, which so rarely happens.  I’m immensely satisfied with it.

Also, I’m reading House of Leaves right now, which is really really enjoyable.

Based on how I’m feeling, and aware that it can change, I’m changing my crafting space into more of an art studio space, and trying to ride on the wings of inspiration on this one.  Not to say that I’m not going to craft, because crafting can be art too… just to say that I came to regard my craft room as old lady sewing space and not as an inspirational haven, to the point that I never go in here anymore.

That being said, I’m going to go cuddle up with my kitties and some good friends and have a Happy New Year’s Eve.

 

Buster Kitty

Resolute,

 

A.C.

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